This sad story became widely discussed. Sigmund Freud and modern scientists studied this idea. In 2015, an award-winning short film called Henry retold this story.
How does this apply to real life? Most people remember being hurt by close relationships – broken friendships, family conflicts, or romantic betrayals. Since these connections matter deeply, their damage hurts more. Should we stop trusting others? Schopenhauer said yes, but science would say otherwise.
A study in PLOS Medicine reviewing 148 studies with over 300,000 people found those with strong social connections live 50% longer. The National Institute on Aging warns that loneliness harms health as much as smoking 15 cigarettes daily — making Schopenhauer's advice concerning.
When hurt repeatedly, people often fall into defense mode. Relationship expert Hilary Sanders explains common defense behaviors: going silent during arguments, seeing normal comments as criticism, or overreacting to small issues. These reactions often start in childhood. If parents often criticized or classmates bullied someone, they might develop habits like pretending not to care or getting angry easily. While these helped survive childhood pain, they cause problems in adult relationships when used unconsciously.
The good news is people can change. Through therapy, many learn to recognize their defense patterns and understand their origins. Couples can improve relationships by learning each other's emotional triggers and responding thoughtfully instead of arguing. However, Sanders warns that defenses shouldn't be removed suddenly — it's like taking down a wall brick by brick.
Although Schopenhauer focused on the pain of closeness, the hedgehog story actually shows our deep need for connection. Unlike real hedgehogs, humans aren't born with physical spines. By carefully lowering our defenses around trustworthy people, we might truly enjoy both warmth and safety in relationships.
